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ELECTION RESULTS

SIKE OPS LEADER RE-ELECTED WITH 99.3% OF VOTE; REMAINING 0.7% "BEING LOOKED INTO"

By Staff Correspondent xxxxxxxx · Posted 11/04/2003 03:59 PM

THE CAPITAL — In a landslide victory observers are calling "mathematically suspicious but emotionally correct," the leader of Sike Operations has been re-elected to a ninth consecutive term with 99.3% of the vote.

Her sole opponent, a man named xxxxxxxxx, received 0.7% and has not been seen since the polls closed. Aides say he is "fine" and "on a farm upstate."

Addressing a crowd of supporters from a podium she brought from home, the leader thanked "every single person who voted for me, which is everyone," before shaking hands with a dignitary who was, at the time, just out of frame.

Victory merchandise is available now in the Commissary. Wearing it is strongly encouraged. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

[Portions of this article have been removed at the request of xxxxxxxxx.]

SO

The President-for-Life greets a foreign dignitary outside the Hall of the People. Photo has not been edited.

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